How much longer?

How much longer seems to be the $1 million dollar question right now. This is the question that we hear over and over. The honest answer is that we just do not know. As far as we know we have not entered PGN yet. This hurts because for the past three weeks we were under the impression that we would be entering any day. This last part of the process is the most heart wrenching because you can be in PGN (aka the black hole) from anywhere between 6 weeks to 6 months. There is no rhyme or reason why they review, KO, or approve files. Additionally during this time we will not be able to get much information from our agency regarding our status. You are either in PGN or out of PGN.

Last night I cried myself to sleep because I miss our little Miranda so much. As of this Thursday, March 15th it will be one month since we met Miranda for the first time. I wonder if she has figured out how to roll over (she almost had it mastered during our visit)? I wonder if she is teething (she really liked to chew on our fingers and knuckles)? Is she sleeping through the night now? I long to hold her again, smell her hair, and feel the warmth of her body as she sleeps on my chest. I ache to hear her laugh, coos, and the rhythmic sound of her breathing at night.

One night earlier this week my Mom boldly stated that Miranda will be home in time for Easter. At the time I agreed with her but that thought stayed with me for the rest of the week. I think that my own realization and understanding is that she won't be home for Easter. It was with this thought that the tears started to build in my eyes and run down my cheeks. The weeks are quickly slipping by. She is already four months old now and by Easter she will be five months old. We are just missing so much!